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They say the words of a great sage make you stop and reflect upon both them and your life. Can there be any doubt that the words of one Homer J. Simpson meet this test? Just consider the following if you have any doubts whatsoever. Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday. Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend. You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes! What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around. Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex! It's also the food preparation. I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! Whenever Marge turns on one of her "non-violent" programs, I take a walk. I go to a bar, I pound a few, then I stumble home in the mood for love... Continue Reading... http://www.veritasarticles.com/Homer-J-Simpson--The-True-Life-Guru.htm
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